BS Talks

2 more layers and stalking

I had an incredibly productive Sunday.  (Yes, I know it's now Monday.  Haven't we already discussed this judging?)  Well, as productive as one can be while staying buried 5 layers deep in her bed.  The temperature was supposed to drop to 14 degrees.  That’s not drop BY 14 degrees.  That’s drop TO 14 degrees, like the temperature outside is a whopping 14 degrees.  Are you kidding me?  This is still Florida right?  Did I move and not realize it?  14 DEGREES?! 

Needless to say, I added 2 more layers, a pair of socks for my hands and a heating pad. 

This cold weather is wreaking havoc on my skin, my hands in particular, so I lotioned up and planned to put on a pair of those white, cotton gloves you get with manicure stuff but I took them to work because they are much smaller than regular gloves so I can still kinda type while wearing them.  I looked around for another pair and I found a pair of Aloe Vera socks I got for Christmas.  I used my MacGyver skills to combine some chapstick, the letter E and green eye shadow to convert those puppies into mittens.  (If your MacG skills are not as honed as mine, you can also try just putting your hands into the socks and calling it a day.)  Besides keeping me all warmed up, my hands look and feel awesome!  I’m gonna test ‘em out on my feet next. 

I added the heating pad to the layers for an extra bit of warm toastiness and I blame that addition for not leaving my bed the entire day!  Electric blankets must be uhMAzing.  I do feel a little bad for using the heating pad for warmth though.  My roommate gave himself whiplash the other day when he tried to avoid sitting on my dog in mid sit mode.  It was kinda entertaining to watch (if you are a heartless bitch that finds humor in the pain of others).  Not that I laughed.  Much.  He was hunched over for a day or two and he asked to borrow my heating pad but it got super cold so I told him I couldn’t find it.  Sucker (hi DP! ; P)

I texted the roomie to deliver me lunch to my room but I didn’t get a response.  (And he wonders why I didn’t ‘find’ the heating pad.)  So, I did have to get up for food purposes but other than that, I pretty much stayed bundled up on my bed with my computer.   And that’s where the productivity comes into play.

I spent a good portion of the morning deciding my votes for the 20sb Bootlegger Awards and that reminded me that I need to update the list of people I virtually stalk my blog roll.  So, here are a few more names to add to the list:

          no ordinary rollercoaster – this is one of the first blogs I started following.  I can’t remember if I found it by way of 20sb or if I found 20sb by way of it.  Either way, I am all the better for having found both.  Ben, the author, is like the hub of the freaking blogosphere or he pisses champagne, everywhere I go, someone is thanking him or crediting him or linking to him.  And frankly, anyone that dresses up as Richard Simmons, spandex and all, and sells cupcakes, door to door, to raise awareness and money for breast cancer is A-OK in my book.

 

            Stoic – I just recently started following this blog and so far, I love it!  You know what they say?  A picture is worth a thousand words?  Tia finds the most amazing photographs to illustrate her thoughts and I really dig that.

 

More is Better – the sub-title to this blog is Deliciously Vulgar.  How can I not be virtual bffs with a girl like this?  A recent post about dry humping and used panties solidified her in the highest levels of my esteem.  

 

Blogs by Night – I’m new to this blog as well but I think it’s a keeper.  Stephen seems incredibly genuine, if that’s possible via the interwebs, and he makes better cookies than me and takes better photos than me.  Yeah, I know neither of these are terribly difficult feats given the travesties I call cookies and photos but I think Stephen is good and he isn’t a douche bag about it.

 

It’s like I’m…mmmagic! – Brandy is ricockulously funny, even as she is currently going through a special level of hell.  Between the ‘secret projects’ and giving sexwear to a 10 year old this blog gives my heart a boner.

I know my Oprah-like skills are pretty powerful so I will end here.  I don’t want anyone calling into work this week so you can catch up on all the blogs I read.  But if you find yourself with some time on your hands, definitely check these good folks out! 

Are you a cool kid?

 Well?  Are you?  A cool kid?  I am.  Know how I know I am? 

Cause I am a member of and I voted in the 2010 Bootlegger Awards!

‘Uh, BS, how are you a member of a group for 20 something bloggers, you’re thir—‘ SHUT YOUR PRETTY LITTLE FACE RIGHT THERE DEAR READER.  If you take a moment to remember correctly, I am only 23 and besides I’ve been a member of 20sb for like 3 years.  Age is not the point here.  Well, my age at least. 

 

If you are already a member of 20sb.net then you need to get your butt in gear and go vote.  There’s a bunch of categories and a bunch of really worthy blogs and today is the last day, why’d ya wait so long?

 

If you aren’t a member of 20sb.net, have no fear you can still be a cool kid.  If you are actually 20 something (that’s the only requirement), you should pop on over to 20sb.net and join and then you should friend add me because I like friends and then you should send me gifts because I like gifts (I’m mostly talking about gifts on 20sb.net but I will not send back any gifts given to me outside of 20sb.net.  I am gracious like that). 
 

If you aren’t in your twenties you’re kinda screwed for this easy test of coolness.  If you really want to be cool, you can make a post on your blog that says BS SAYS I’M COOL and post a link to it the comments here and I will go check it out and confirm your coolness.  I’m awesome AND giving like that. 

 

Go now, make with the coolness.    

Top job, jackass.

Usually, I like the British.

    mal a droit – adjective

          lacking in adroitness; unskillful; awkward; bungling; tactless

Google is taking over the world, one doodad at a time.

After my first Blogger post yesterday, I played around with it a bit and I noticed the ‘Next Blog’ tab at the top of the page.  Always being down for a readingventure, I clicked the button, hoping to add a few good blogs to my daily addiction reader.  I can’t figure out how they determine the ‘next’ blog.  It definitely isn’t alphabetical, oldest, newest, most recent post or any other easily desernible measure.  I’m sure I could google it but I was too busy being mesmerized by all of the blogs by mommies, women trying to be mommies and infertile mommy wannabes. 

I must have flipped through 30 blogs last night and I didn’t find any by a man or a single, childless by choice, female blogger.

For a minute or two, I thought my spinster nightmares had come true and I was the last single woman on Earth or perhaps the blogosphere.  I was on the verge of throwing myself down for the temper tantrum of the decade, (yes, that would have helped -help ensure my spinsterhood at the very least) but I decided to wait and ‘Next Blog’ today and see where that takes me. 

Fortunately for all (especially me, I’m not as young as I used to be and temper tantrums take stamina) I did not have the same results.  Instead of the various states of mommyhood, today, I found a variety of crafters, bloggers for Christ, blogs in other languages so I have no idea what the hell they're about, literary agents and editors, poets and children’s book authors. 

Very interesting collection of stuff on these here interwebs.  Very interesting.  Blogger obviously has more of a blogging community than Typepad but the main reason I decided to test it as an alternative, besides allowing custom designs (for FREE!), is all of the really cool blog doodads Google has like Feedburner, Analytics, and Reader.  Google is a one stop blogity shop. 

Soon, it will be a one stop life shop.  I think the next update to the Dashboard will allow you to turn on the coffee maker and start the car.     

Elf You(rself).

I feel bad that I have been so busy playing on the internet and napping working, shopping, gift wrapping and going to holiday parties that I haven't been able write much lately.  To make up for it, Orin and made this video as a way of saying I'm sorry I've been living it up in the real world and not here with you in eFriend land.  I do plan to tell you all about my adventures to 7 potlucks, a white elephant gift exchange, Fishmas and a Redneck Christmas party but not today.  I've got sleeping wrapping to do.

You too can ElfYourself for all of your loved ones (that includes me in case you were wondering!). 

 

I got mad, Oprah-like skills

The Declaration of Independence

read by Matt Damon

Tonight is the night The History Channel pushes my reading list onto the world.  What?  You didn’t realize I have that kind power?  Oh you!  You’re so cute with your little dumb face! 

Seriously, you should join the millions and millions and millions that will be tuning in to see what I have been listening to for the past week.  Howard Zinn’s Voices of a People’s History of the United States is the basis for The People Speak and it will air on the The History Channel tonight at 8/7 c.

Follow Voices of a People’s History on Twitter!

p.s. I tried to embed the video into the post but either I'm an idiot or the History Channel is.  I'm voting it's them and not me.

Domino Effect Interwebbing

As I previously mentioned, I like to compare blog rolls when I happen upon a new blog.  Usually, this results in what I like to call Domino Effect Interwebbing, I move from blog to blog to blog to blog judging, scanning, sometimes reading, sometimes laughing, finding shit I should have written about but didn’t think of it, judging, sometimes subscribing, developing crushes on writers I’ll never meet, sometimes commenting, learning stuff and of course, a bit of judging. 

More often than I would like, this type of interwebbing becomes a black hole and sucks my entire day into its abyss.  If light did survive in a black hole, it would create a bright side in all the really great sites I find and actually enjoy and add to my stalk roll blog roll so it wouldn’t really be a waste of a day.  But the cynic in me points to the laundry I have to wash twice because I let it sit in the washer so long it began to smell like rotten, mildewed ass.  Before you ask how or why I know what rotten, mildewed ass smells like, stop and be glad you have not experienced it and leave it at that.  What?  You can’t leave it at that?  Okay, close your eyes, well maybe you should keep them open so you can read the closest combination of olfactory assaults I can come up with that create rotten, mildew ass and then close your eyes and enjoy the sensation.  Imagine a poorly run/cleaned nursing home (are there any others?) full of chair ridden old people, add to that a sweaty boy of about 6 years old that has been desperately trying to ‘hold it’ for the past hour because the big boys are finally letting him play army, add to that the worst house you have ever seen on Hoarders and then, piss your bed and roll around in it.  When you all of those delightful smells mixed together it roughly equals rotten, mildewed ass.  Fortunately for me, Gain Apple Mango Tango takes it right out!  But I digress.

As I was judging another blog’s lame design due mainly to its lack of a public blog roll, it occurred to me that I do not have a public blog roll.  As I am not a hypocrite, at least not intentionally, I am here to rectify that omission forthwith. 

I go through bouts of reading mania where I can’t get enough of one particular blog so I keep going back to it over and over and over again until I have read every single word the author has ever posted.  Eventually, the obsession with that blog wears off and I have to find a new one but these are the one I am currently frequenting the most right now:

Indexed – an amazing site with tons of diagrams illustrating everything from the Easter Bunny, to love to queens to xenophobia.  The best part for me is the author/artist is a girl!

20 Something Bloggers – this is a blogging community for 20 something bloggers (duh) that I belong to and it provides hours of entertainment because it’s not just 1 blog but lots!

xkcd – ‘a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.’  I am in used to love a physicist so this sweet combo of afore mentioned nouns is a no brainer.  

Peter De Wolf – I just started reading this guy and I can’t get enough!  Sadly, I don’t remember dominos that took me him but I am greatful none-the-less.  He writes word doodles, random shit and open letters to his Future Wife.  I bet Peter gets more marriage proposals than Russian mail order brides.  Hell, even I want to be FW, but I’m holding out for him to ask me.  I’m traditional like that.

Rebel Reports – site of independent journalist, Jeremy Scahill.  He’s a brilliant, angry liberal.  What’s not to love?

Huffington Post – a brilliant liberal news source.

Dad Gone Mad – I was hooked with his tag line “Living proof that it takes balls to go nuts’.  This dad is humorously insightful.  Read his post, The Problem With Music, and you’ll see what I mean.

p.s.  I made the mAzing image at the top of this post.  I am super impressed with my sweet graphic design skills, amateurish and self taught and all.

Humpday in 10.

1.)    When ordering curry, do not get level 10 hotness when the scale only goes to 11 unless you need to burn all feeling from your mouth for the duration of your life.

2.)    What is a two letter word for awesome at mid-week crossword?  ME! Seriously. 

3.)    I do not enjoy John Larroquette as a southern ‘mo lawyer.  I much prefer him as the slick, oversexed, city lawyer, Dan Fielding, from Night Court.  

4.)    Thankfully, A Christmas Story is on TNT tonight.  It really doesn’t feel like Christmastime until I have seen that movie.

5.)    Seriously?  Christmastime is an actual fucking word?

6.)    Speaking of Christmas, it’s in 15 days! OMG. 

7.)    It’s ricockulously hot in Florida right now.

8.)    My blog needs more pictures. Stat.

9.)    Paul Reubens is reprising Pee Wee Herman.  I am equal parts jazzed and terrified.

10.) My blog has 15 subscribers!  Thanks for your interest, now tell your friends so they can tell their friends and they can tell their friends and they can tell their friends and before long, I will have an outbreak of new subscribers on par with the chlamydia outbreaks in senior communities.

I Double-Dog-Dare Ya.

Perusing the news today I came across this article that tells the story of a boy from Boise that decided to test the age old conundrum of tongue on frozen pole.  What I find most humorous about this article is that this boy was alone, he wasn’t goaded into it with the obligatory ‘I double dog dare ya’ from his cohorts, he didn’t have any girls near to impress with his misplaced bravery, he didn’t even have anyone to run for help, he was out there to do it for himself.  You gotta admire the set on that little guy.  Let’s hope he didn’t ask for an official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!  He’d shoot his eye out for sure.  

Friday Funday!

In search for interweb fun, I happened upon Wordle!  Copy and paste a variety of words and see what kind of art you can make!  I copied my post Chapstick - the baking soda of lubricants to produce this masterpiece.  Be sure to check out the FAQ, especially about removing a specific font. 

Happy Friday!